Stop Press

13.09  from ''Joseph Wong'' [joseph.wong101@cpll.cn]

I am Mr Joseph Wong, I Need You For An Urgent Business transaction.

Exciting times in the editor's email

As you might expect, there are lots of exciting emails in the inbox of the editor of the Derry Journal.
Just this morning, for instance, people from all over the world have been in touch offering opportunities to leave frugality behind and really live! But, as for Leonard Cohen and indeed one of the main characters in my friend Anne Doughty's new book 'Come Rain, Come Shine', that's not for me. Give me penury any day - at one with the 99% and alive to the frisson of the pay slip landing on the desk every 15th.

But who wouldn't be tempted?

12.01 Kindly view your lottery winning notification as attached (attachment - UK Canada Lottery Promotion)

11.57 A lucky couple get in touch, seeking to share their good fortune - reported in the 'Daily Mail', it seems - with '10 lucky individuals' around the world -


Dear Sir/Madam,

This is my fifth times of writting you this email since last year till date but no response from you.Hope you get this one, as this is a personal email directed to you. My wife and I won a Jackpot Lottery of $11.3 million in July and have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $500,000.00 USD to you as part of our own charity project to improve the lot of 10 lucky individuals all over the world. If you have received this email then you are one of the lucky recipients and all you have to do is get back with us so that we can send your details to the payout bank.Please note that you have to contact my private email for more
informations(allen-violetlargee@ozledim.net)

You can verify this by visiting the web pages below.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1326473/Canadian-couple-Allen-Violet-Large-away-entire-11-2m-lottery-win.html


Goodluck,
Allen and Violet Large
Email:allen-violetlargee@ozledim.net


10.38 As Human Resources studies will tell you, so often our best efforts go unappreciated. Not so in the case of Dr James Mantu, whose name, admittedly, doesn't 'ring a bell', in the colloquial expression, but who is obviously in the Bond league in terms of international connections, with a bank account in Italy, a 'China friend', a UK business associate and an address in Japan (not to mention a 'bosom friend' in Ireland) -


from drjames@james.com


MY DEAREST FRIEND,

GOOD DAY,

WITH GREAT GRATITUDE TO YOUR EFFORTS; I AM INFORMING YOU THAT I HAVE FINALLY SUCCEEDED IN TRANSFERRING THE FUNDS OUT TO A BANK IN ITALY, WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF A CHINA FRIEND, WHOM BASED ON AGREEMENT RECEIVED 35% OF THE ENTIRE MONEY FOR HIS FINANCIAL INVOLVEMENT AND EFFORTS.

PRESENTLY I HAVE RELOCATED TO JAPAN, TO ESTABLISH THE ELECTRONIC COMPANY PROJECTS WITH MY OWN SHARE AS I HAVE EARLIER PROPOSED. NEVERTHELESS, I CANNOT FORGET YOU, ESPECIALLY YOUR HONEST EFFORTS, THOUGH IT DID NOT YIELD POSITIVE FRUIT, BUT I STILL APPRECIATE IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MEANWHILE I HAVE A SURPRISE PACKAGE FOR YOU.

I NEED YOU TO CONTACT MY SECRETARY IN UNITED KINGDOM ENGLAND HIS NAME IS MR.EDMUND PHILLIPS HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: ed_phillips7@vip.se.com EMAIL OR CALL HIM ON HIS DIRECT MOBILE NUMBER 00447017417806. I HAVE INSTRUCTED HIM TO SEND YOU THE SUM OF $2.500,000.00. TWO MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS CHEQUE WHICH I SET OUT FOR YOUR COMPENSATION, PLEASE ACCEPT IT IN GOOD FAITH.

I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOU DID AND I PRAY THAT WE WOULD MEET ONE DAY, BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO LIE LOW FOR SOME TIME, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, SO FEEL FREE AND GET IN TOUCHED WITH MR.EDMUND PHILLIPS. RE-CONFIRM BELOW INFORMATION TO HIM TO ENABLE HIM SEND THE DRAFT TO YOU.
1, YOUR FULL NAME.
2, YOUR DIRECT CELL PHONE NUMBER.
3, YOUR MAILING ADDRESS.

PLEASE MY FRIEND ENDEAVOR TO INFORM ME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THE $2.500,000.00. TWO MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS.ENJOY THE FRUIT OF YOUR LABOR AND INVEST IT WISELY FOR THE FUTURE OF YOUR CHILDREN. TRUST IN GOD AND ALL WILL BE WELL WITH YOU.

I REMAIN YOUR BOSOM FRIEND,
DR. JAMES MANTU,
(it would seem the communication was suddenly cut off)

Of course this is far from all of interest in the editor's inbox -

11.41am  From forcefieldbodyarmour.com (number one for editors) comes news of -

The British Superbike Championship was at Cadwell Park this weekend for round eight of the Championship. At the very testing circuit some of the Forcefield riders had to put the gear to the test at the weekend, all walked away relatively unscathed and were able to compete in their respective races.  

Keith Farmer on the Rapid Solicitors Kawasaki [had to stop with this striking team name . . ]

11.12am from Julie.Sherlock@Translink.co.uk - Winter Timetable changes to Ulsterbus services

Need we say more?

10.04 - Zoe at Key [sales@key-news.co.uk]. 

'Flammable Storage Cabinet' - Now Only £259

Fire on the premises - simply climb inside and enjoy the heat! [ok, made up that bit]

9.28am - Solar-powered Scripture players for blind people

and just when you thought it couldn't get any better . . 

8.41am - from Muhammad-Munir Fahmy [mm.fahmy@usa.com]

I will suggest a remedy to the euro crisis. I will not write a complete research. I will write only the idea of the research. The UK was clever for not joining the euro zone.

The single currency should be replaced by double currency policy for weak economies. Greece, Ireland, Portugal, and Spain need to financially divide the country into two unequal areas for a certain period of time [think we tried that one]. The big part keeps using the euro as a single currency. The small part uses old national currency. The national central bank will be free to print more old national banknotes. The country can later increase the area using old national currency and diminish the area using the Euro.

After a certain period of time, the area using the euro will diminish and the area using the old national currency will increase. My suggestion will help the country to decide if it will stay or leave the euro zone for Germany.

James Monroe,

Still legal, Muhammad-Munir Fahmy.

Neighborhood #7, Bldg #26A, Apt #11,

New Cairo, First Compound,

Cairo, Egypt.


Not forgetting 0.07am 

T2 usado 5 anos como novo com muita luz, 6º andar, vistas desafogadas dos quartos e da sala.
Apartamento centro Telheiras a 10 min. a pé do metro, a 5 min. a pé do pingo doce e continente.
Perto de escolas, farmácia, infantário. Autocarro, supermercado, padaria, cafe á porta.
Casa com soalho flutuante, porta blindada, vidros duplos.2 quartos com roupeiro, hall de entrada, sala, corredor, cozinha toda equipada e W.C.Parqueamento comum e boa vizinhança.
Casa com ou sem mobilia negociável.
CONTACTE 91 872 24 73 ou luis.filipe.eca@gmail.com
Ver detalhes no link:
http://casa.sapo.pt/Andar-de-Predio-T2-Alugar-Lisboa-Lumiar-Telheiras-tem.Escolas,Hall-de-Entrada-265c8d0f-09a7-4536-ad9a-6dd08b088e20.html?g3pid=188860
Luis Eça . Telf. 918722473/914286121


-------------

Spam filters, anyone?

English Grammar as it is spoke

The Irish Academy of Public Relations is still going strong, I see from an email this morning on 'New International Online Courses for Ireland'. I taught a PR course for the Academy in a previous incarnation and  met the boss Ellen Gunning for a good chat.

One of the courses - " The Certificate in English Grammar  is for those who are passionate about the English language and want to understand not only how a sentence is structured, but, if it is wrong, they want to know precisely why it is wrong."

Know what you mean. Anyone grammarians up for explaining what exactly's wrong with that sentence?

One of those days . . .

Just in -

NORTHERN IRELAND FIRE & RESCUE SERVICE

22 August 2012

NIFRS Statement: Fire at Limavady Fire Station

Northern Ireland Fire & Rescue Service (NIFRS) Spokesperson confirmed:
“We received a call at 8.50am this morning (Wednesday 22 August 2012) to respond to a fire at Limavady Fire Station, Catherine Street, Limavady, Londonderry.
“A sounding smoke alarm in the part time Fire Station alerted a local retained Firefighter to the incident and Fire Crews quickly dealt with a contained fire within the drying room/store room area by 9.50am. A Fire Appliance from Dungiven Fire Station and Crescent Link Fire Station were in attendance.
“There has been some damage to the lecture room in the Fire Station, however the 2 Limavady Fire Appliances have not been damaged and the Station remains operationally live.
“We immediately activated our well-rehearsed Business Continuity Plans and can assure the public that emergency cover in the area has not been affected by the incident.
“An investigation into the cause of the fire is underway.
“We want to use this incident to emphasise that fire can happen to anyone at anytime in any building. Fire doesn’t discriminate and it shows the importance of thinking Fire Safety first, working smoke alarms and the swift actions of our local Fire Crews in protecting our whole community from the dangers of fire.”

Absolutely . . .

Notes towards a Derry 2.0 column

Just looking up the dear old (1772) Derry Journal and I see that this blog, long forgotten about (April 2011, I see) is sitting third in the Google search results for the paper. Shome mishtake, Shirley. Perhaps we engaged a SEO guy back when newspapers had oodles of cash, and he's still busy pushing up the ratings and we'll get a big bill next week.
And last Thursday at the checkout in Eason's in Derry I met a Fermanagh woman who lives in Austria and has a house here. In the course of a conversation which continued for some time, and went on to involve a meal in the select surroundings of De Burgh Terrace (thanks Wolfgang), she said; "What's that quote from Voltaire on your blog?"
So maybe it's time to kick off again.
Of course, as the Voltaire quote was the product of a two minute search on Google, it was impossible to remember. And so another blogger is exposed for false advertising as a writer who has the works of the French masters at his fingertips.
This piece is getting a little long for the multi-media world of the early 21st century, so here's a pic of Voltaire to liven you all up (always keep one on the desktop) -

(feel free to ignore the quote)

As you can see, Voltaire had a considerable head of hair (with obvious possibilities for a good limerick, which won't detain us here), which rather undermine those writers making a big deal in the media today after Fellaini's performance against Man U last night.

Voltaire's hair was longer, I'm sure you'll agree.

To return to our (temporary) topic, Voltaire's name was actually Francois-Marie Aroet (from now on, your writer will answer only to the name Ampere) and brainyquote.com reveals that he was also known for his saying - "A witty saying proves nothing." I see he echoes Tolsoy - as we all know from our reading of 'War and Peace', bedside stuff you know - that "All murderers are punished unless they kill in numbers and to the sound of trumpets".

To clear up a trifle, and to announce that all future sentences in this blog will begin with the construction 'To [do something or other]', it might be pointed out that Voltaire (1694 - 1778) could hardly be said to 'echo' Tolstoy (1828 - 1910) (who, strangely enough, had a long beard

[sorry]

). So please bear this in mind.

To actually broach the topic announced for this blog, it's about time that a start was made on 'Derry 2.0' for Friday's Journal. The column, usually written by Mark Nagurski, looks at digital tech locally, but as Mark is taking a little break because of his commitments to the CultureTECH festival, coming up shortly www.culturetech.co/ , here's a go at a guest column:

DERRY 2.0

My first encounter with the avant-garde was as a rookie reporter doing a story on the renovations of Fortstewart, not the home of the 3rd infantry division and the largest US Army installation east of the Mississippi, but the imposing house which is the home of the Day family outside Ramelton, overlooking Lough Swilly.
One of the Day daughters was showing me around. I admired a ribbed ceiling, I think above the grand staircase, which had been painted in striking colours.
"Yes, it's rather avant garde, isn't it?" she said.
I could only agree.
I found out the term was a French equivalent of 'ahead of the posse', a Wild West phrase much more familar to a young man who'd spent his teenage years reading J. T. Edson, the English postman, and Zane Grey, the dentist.
Growing up in Raphoe, I wanted to be part of the avant garde, but sadly it was not to be. Whether it was the Raleigh Chopper or Bay City Rollers trousers, by the time I got there the world had moved on. It's a sad thing to finally put on the trousers trimmed with tartan and the stacked shoes and find that, far from being a trend setter, you're an object of ridicule. Phil Coulter has to share the blame.
In fact, it wasn't until I joined the BBC in Belfast in the 1980s that I finally got a taste of the life of an 'early adopter'. Previously, at the Derry People in Letterkenny, and later the Derry Journal in Derry, we were still using typewriters (invented - 1860s) and probably being told we were lucky to have them.
Ah, yes! It's hard to forget the thrill of running around the troublespots of the North carrying what looked like a heavy transistor radio with a handset on top - an early mobile phone. In those days, and probably in these, the Beeb always had the latest gear. The satellite phone was another gadget to bring out in the company of an attractive interviewee.
But as the wheel of life turns around, I seem to be regressing to my childhood in terms of the 'avant garde'. For various reasons, the spare cash doesn't seem to be there to move to the front of the queue for all the wonderful 'must have' accessories of modern life. It's all very well buying 'Wired' magazine and reading about the amazing developments in the digital world, but at some stage you would actually like to GET SOMETHING - and not in the 'Fantastic Reductions' section of PC World because it's past it.
My mobile is a perfectly respectable android HTC model - until you see someone enjoying their iPhone 4s 320GB. At home, the laptop is not a Macbook Pro with OS X Mountain Lion - it's actually an ten year-old Mac Defunct, as it has refused to turn on since we got back from France. And you can only spend so long playing the iPad in PC World in the Waterside before the staff start to look at you funny (great game that, where you slice the fruit with your finger across the screen . . .)
By the time I finally get an iPad (maybe at Christmas - hint, hint), the early adopters will be running around with pCelts, complete with inter-stellar travel and a 'quick fry' option for frozen chips.
Of course, there is a part of me that says 'So what?' Otherwise I might be squirreling away the odd bit of money for gadgets rather than wasting it on old-fashioned stuff like books. After spending hours on the computer at work, do you really want to be on an iPhone or iPad constantly in your spare time, looking after your virtual life while letting real life slip by? Uploading images and video clips from glorious Slieve League rather than 'living in the moment' and letting the memory banks do the rest?
For anyone who reads 'Derry 2.0' regularly, the answer to these questions may well be - 'yes'.
But maybe there's something to learn from the memories of those days many years ago, having races with toy cars and pitched battles with plastic armies, sticking stamps onto the 'Uruguay' page, or just running around the fields, instead of parading around town in tartan trousers. . .